Letting Go of Who We Wanted Them to Be

Letting Go of Who We Wanted Them to Be

0Shares0 0 0 0 TweetPocketWe humans pin our hopes on potential. There’s something there, we can glimpse it, touch it momentarily. Then, it’s gone again; as quickly as it arrived. Sometimes, we wait a lifetime to see it again. So go relationships of all sorts. Our parents, partners, children, siblings, friends- they will all let us down at some point. And why is that? They’re good, honest folks, right? Why can’t we just be happy with them as they are, and not expect them to be something they’re not? In our childhood years, we developed a clear sense of our needs from our caregivers. We came to idealize the traits that mattered most to us; and if we had to share our parents with other people and priorities (as most children do), we also developed jealousy as a natural response. Jealousy also came to us on those days when our parents were off their game and less attentive due to stress and fatigue from working all day, taking care of a household, and other life commitments. The thing about jealousy is that it feels really ugly and as such is hard for us to name. Jealousy is our felt...

Regaining Self-Esteem after a Job Termination

Regaining Self-Esteem after a Job Termination

0Shares0 0 0 0 TweetPocketThere are probably very few things that feel as bad as the experience of being canned. The unexpected termination of our pay is of course a big part of it; but even if we can stabilize ourselves economically, it casts lingering doubt about our worth. We were cast out, unwanted, told that we aren’t good enough to work here anymore. Bouncing back requires us to regain our lost self-esteem sooner than later. We can’t wait for a new job to help us feel better about ourselves. We need to start self-reflecting now so that we can make better decisions for our futures. Let’s start with the basics of why this is difficult. People are terminated from jobs for a variety of reasons. Some are within our control and some are not. Getting to work on time each day, being punctual while on the job, and maintaining performance standards with honesty and integrity tend to be the sorts of things employers like. People who don’t do these things, or do them inconsistently, are the ones who face disciplinary action. To be clear, not every termination is lawful or ethical; and injustices do occur. Our responsibility as the...

Did High School Help or Hinder Us?

Did High School Help or Hinder Us?

0Shares0 0 0 0 TweetPocketIn this second installment of my 2-part series on adolescent depression, I explore the question: Did high school help or hinder us? Ah, the magic of high school. As any yearbook will reveal, it was all about sports and spirit, studying hard, and laughter and good times in and around campus. Band practice, pep rallies, choir and drama. Oh, the fun we had learning and socializing our way from late adolescence into young adulthood. If only life was as good as the yearbook’s glossy images suggest. I was one of around 3,000 students who attended Douglas MacArthur High School in San Antonio from 1985-89. Of that number, some went on to college, only to flunk out within a couple of years and never return. Many went on to struggle in jobs they hate. Some have participated in one long relationship or several sequential ones in which misery and discord were fostered. What role, if any, did high school play for these kids in their later adult lives? Probably, a fairly significant one. After about 5th grade, our peer relationships take on a central role in development. We learn who we are through our interactions with...

Green Eggs and Ham

Green Eggs and Ham

0Shares0 0 0 0 TweetPocket“Do you like green eggs and ham?” asks Sam-I-am in this Beginner Book by Dr. Seuss. In a house or with a mouse? In a boat or with a goat? On a train or in a tree? Sam keeps asking persistently. With unmistakable characters and signature rhymes, Dr. Seuss’s beloved favorite has cemented its place as a children’s classic. In this most famous of cumulative tales, the list of places to enjoy green eggs and ham, and friends to enjoy them with, gets longer and longer. Follow Sam-I-am as he insists that this unusual treat is indeed a delectable snack to be savored everywhere and in every way. Originally created by Dr. Seuss, Beginner Books encourage children to read all by themselves, with simple words and illustrations that give clues to their meaning....