Knowing When and Why to Toss Out Your Yearbook

Knowing When and Why to Toss Out Your Yearbook

0Shares0 0 0 0 TweetPocketI’ve never advocated for wholesale destruction of memorabilia. In fact, I advise people against tossing photos and artifacts immediately following a divorce or other major relationship rupture. “Put it away for now,” I say, trusting that as the hurt subsides, judgement will settle in and a better decision will be made down the road. After all, these things tell a story about us too. When the story that’s told represents a long-past chapter that wasn’t happy and that doesn’t deserve to be relived, as is the case with many of our yearbooks, making a decision to toss or edit them can be empowering. My yearbooks are those life artifacts that have been with me ever since my mother cleaned out the bedroom closet I’d occupied in her house as a teenager. They’ve moved with me from city to city, finding their way to a closet bookshelf during my more organized periods, or remaining in a cardboard box during the years when I was less so. I’ve pulled them out occasionally, seen the smiling or brooding faces in headshots, the group photos of various teams and organizations, and the candids of kids I barely remember engaged...

Find Your Messy and Embrace Your Fabulously Flawed Self

Find Your Messy and Embrace Your Fabulously Flawed Self

0Shares0 0 0 0 TweetPocketAre you absolutely spent and exhausted from too much giving? Parents, educators, and people in the helping professions know what I’m talking about here. We sacrifice in the service of others. On our best days, it comes from a place of love. On our worst days, it is an experience of obligation in which we question everything about ourselves and the lives we’ve chosen. Where are the spaces though where we get to question everything, where we don’t have to role model, where we can simply be our genuine messy selves? Find your messy is an essential element to caregiving because it’s precisely the spaces where we can be real, laughing loudly and crying ugly, and reflect on our burdens without judgement. This notion of finding your messy came to me while walking in the park last week. A mother of two was trying to encourage her bored 9 year-old son as he plodded along. Suddenly, her 2 year-old daughter decided that the funniest thing in the world would be to go running down the sidewalk as fast she could. “STOP!” yelled the mom after her. The little girl stopped. As I passed the vexed...